When my husband and I had been married for about two years,
someone said to us "Enjoy the 'honeymoon', it only lasts three years."
I was shocked - no words of encouragement, advice or support. Instead, this
sentence to live the majority of our lives in dull drudgery and bondage,
chained down to a miserable existence after the pixie dust wore off.
I think love, intimacy and romance are a lot like a fire.
You constantly have to tend to it providing fuel, stoking the coals, ensuring
that it has oxygen to keep burning and shielding it from things that would put
it out. Right from the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I wanted our
honeymoon to last forever; to keep fun, romance and freshness through the
duration of our marriage until death do us part. I am so thankful for Andy's
heart to make this a priority in our lives. Does this mean that every moment of
our lives is perfect? Of course not. We have our moments, growth pains, and a
fair share of bumps in the road. However, it does mean we are committed to
getting through the rough areas and back into harmony as quickly as possible.
Here are some of the ways we keep our honeymoon mentality
alive and flourishing:
* Thank God for your spouse every day. It's hard to lose
appreciation for something you are thankful for.
* Spend time
together. Find activities you like to do together and set time aside to make
your relationship a priority; don't get too busy to take a moment to smell the
roses together. Some things Andy and I enjoy doing include: hiking, walking our
dogs, pouring over seed catalogs, looking up ideas on Pintrest for our future
homestead, sitting together and reading articles from our favorite magazines
aloud.
* Talk with each other. Usually Saturday morning is our
reminiscing time. We will sit on the couch with our morning coffee and talk
about memories shared together, how things went the past week, or our plans and
dreams for the future.
* Small, spontaneous dates. For us these often include rides
in the car, a trip to our favorite ice cream parlor, or an outing of some sort.
* Dinner dates at home. Eating out can get expensive and
lately I've found that the food doesn't taste like what I wanted or was
expecting, so we’ve been dining in. Pick out meal and then make it together.
* Make a list of the things you love about your spouse -
things you are thankful for. I have large pickle jar that contains slips of
paper with things that I love about Andy written on them. Write a note a day
and drop it into your jar. Then after a while, dump out the slips of paper and
read them together.
* Take time to breath. Just like a fire needs oxygen to
continue burning brightly, so couples occasionally need a little space to
breath. For me that is spending time with girlfriends, going to Savers to
window shop, or taking time to read a book to myself. Andy goes for a drive,
visits his favorite auto performance parts shop, or changes the oil on the car.
Things to protect your marriage from to prevent the fires
from going out:
* Going to bed angry or on bad terms. NEVER go to sleep if
there is anything unresolved between you. It won't just go away on its own and
chances are you'll be even more frustrated in the morning.
* Unspoken expectations. Ladies, if you want him to help
with sweeping the floor you will have to ask him verbally. Your husband can't
read your mind - if you don't communicate you can't get mad because he doesn't
do what you have telepathically been wishing him to do.
* Comparisons. Don't compare your husband/marriage/life to
anyone or anything else. This is one quick ticket to becoming dissatisfied and
missing out on the beauty and blessings of your husband/marriage/life. The
grass is never greener on the other side of the fence and the image you are
seeing is the airbrushed or good behavior version. The grass on your side of
the fence is only as green as you make it - energy focus and time will green
and grow your grass.
Here's to keeping the heart-fires burning for the duration
of your marriage…until death do you part.
The Revolutionary Homemaker
Sara
