Keep The Fires Burning

When my husband and I had been married for about two years, someone said to us "Enjoy the 'honeymoon', it only lasts three years." I was shocked - no words of encouragement, advice or support. Instead, this sentence to live the majority of our lives in dull drudgery and bondage, chained down to a miserable existence after the pixie dust wore off.

I think love, intimacy and romance are a lot like a fire. You constantly have to tend to it providing fuel, stoking the coals, ensuring that it has oxygen to keep burning and shielding it from things that would put it out. Right from the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I wanted our honeymoon to last forever; to keep fun, romance and freshness through the duration of our marriage until death do us part. I am so thankful for Andy's heart to make this a priority in our lives. Does this mean that every moment of our lives is perfect? Of course not. We have our moments, growth pains, and a fair share of bumps in the road. However, it does mean we are committed to getting through the rough areas and back into harmony as quickly as possible.

Here are some of the ways we keep our honeymoon mentality alive and flourishing:

* Thank God for your spouse every day. It's hard to lose appreciation for something you are thankful for.

 * Spend time together. Find activities you like to do together and set time aside to make your relationship a priority; don't get too busy to take a moment to smell the roses together. Some things Andy and I enjoy doing include: hiking, walking our dogs, pouring over seed catalogs, looking up ideas on Pintrest for our future homestead, sitting together and reading articles from our favorite magazines aloud.

* Talk with each other. Usually Saturday morning is our reminiscing time. We will sit on the couch with our morning coffee and talk about memories shared together, how things went the past week, or our plans and dreams for the future.

* Small, spontaneous dates. For us these often include rides in the car, a trip to our favorite ice cream parlor, or an outing of some sort.

* Dinner dates at home. Eating out can get expensive and lately I've found that the food doesn't taste like what I wanted or was expecting, so we’ve been dining in. Pick out meal and then make it together.

* Make a list of the things you love about your spouse - things you are thankful for. I have large pickle jar that contains slips of paper with things that I love about Andy written on them. Write a note a day and drop it into your jar. Then after a while, dump out the slips of paper and read them together.

* Take time to breath. Just like a fire needs oxygen to continue burning brightly, so couples occasionally need a little space to breath. For me that is spending time with girlfriends, going to Savers to window shop, or taking time to read a book to myself. Andy goes for a drive, visits his favorite auto performance parts shop, or changes the oil on the car.

Things to protect your marriage from to prevent the fires from going out:

* Going to bed angry or on bad terms. NEVER go to sleep if there is anything unresolved between you. It won't just go away on its own and chances are you'll be even more frustrated in the morning.

* Unspoken expectations. Ladies, if you want him to help with sweeping the floor you will have to ask him verbally. Your husband can't read your mind - if you don't communicate you can't get mad because he doesn't do what you have telepathically been wishing him to do.

* Comparisons. Don't compare your husband/marriage/life to anyone or anything else. This is one quick ticket to becoming dissatisfied and missing out on the beauty and blessings of your husband/marriage/life. The grass is never greener on the other side of the fence and the image you are seeing is the airbrushed or good behavior version. The grass on your side of the fence is only as green as you make it - energy focus and time will green and grow your grass.

Here's to keeping the heart-fires burning for the duration of your marriage…until death do you part.

The Revolutionary Homemaker

Sara

Change of Course

Each of us have our own set of dreams, aspirations, goals and plans. Particular paths we intend to follow, milestones to reach. However, sometimes we experience a change of course and we find ourselves on a completely foreign path going the opposite direction. Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way we planned it. Mine sure didn't, but I praise God every day that my life turned out the way He intended.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8-9

Right out of high school I had plans for my life. I knew what I wanted, where I was going and where I wanted to be in 10 years. I would get my nursing degree, pass the Wisconsin state boards and then procure a job where I  could gain lots of experience as a general nurse. From there I wanted to be involved on a surgical team. I would have a good paying job, work hard, save my money and eventually buy a horse ranch where I would live happily ever after with my four-legged friends and the sweet smell of hay. What about Prince Charming you say? Nah, I'll stick with horses thank you very much. This was my vision for my life. I had a very self-centered outlook, "I can do it all on my own and I don't need anyone else in my life". Besides, I told myself, it you let people get close to you, they ultimately have their own agendas and I would get hurt.

In the last year of my nursing school, God had begun to work on my heart. To show me that I had been carrying around bitterness and past hurts. That these unresolved heart-issues were clouding my vision and causing me to be hurt, angry and hard hearted. I almost didn't recognize who I was, I certainly wasn't the happy-go-lucky girl that I had known growing up. My life wasn't my own. God through his wonderful grace began to heal my brokenness. As the healing process continued, I started to feel something stirring within my heart. Just a whisper at first, than a thought that took shape as a growing desire. I started to have less and less desire for the professional career that I had been pursing and started to feel a burning to follow the path of a stay at home wife.

At first I questioned this path. Was this really who I was supposed to be? Would I be successful? Would my husband be satisfied with how I was contributing to our home? Would we be able to survive on a single income? Would it be enough? I can truly say with confidence that I have no regrets being a stay at home wife. All my fears have been chased away like shadows when a light is turned on. To be a stay at home wife (and eventually) mother is my true calling. This life is my high calling; to minister as a help meet to my husband, to take responsibility for the education of our children - to teach them in the way they should go. I can think of no more worthy or glorious calling.

 I feel confident, at peace and completely content in the path that God has led me down, His ways and His path for me is so much better than one I could have chosen on my own.

The Revolutionary Homemaker,
Sara

Thrifty Thursdays: Savvy Grocery Savings

I'm always looking for ways to stretch my dollar. Below are some tips that I use to get the best value at the grocery store.

1. Bagged/Pre-cut lettuce, cabbage or salad - You pay for the convenience and you have to ask yourself, how fresh or nutritious is something that has been pre-cut? A head of romaine lettuce much cheaper and it really doesn't take that much time to wash it yourself.
2. Specialty coffee by the cup - Let's take Starbucks for example, most of their coffees are between $2 - $4.50. If you figured $3 a cup five times a week that adds up to $15! If I buy the ground coffee and make it for myself, it costs it costs about $2.75 for an 11 oz. can of Reveille; which lasts me at least a month. 
3. Lunch - If you don't brown bag it, you probably can expect to spend $6 (modest figure) for a lunch. Add that up over the course of the month and it tallies up to $120 for one person in addition to what you already spend on family groceries. I do my best to send Andy with a brown bag lunch every workday. It doesn't cost me that much extra to make slightly larger supper so Andy has leftovers for work the next day. We also invested in a few microwave safe dishes which have already paid for themselves. 
4. Microwave oatmeal - Not only is this particular item a bad value (cost vs. serving size/amount of servings) as well as limited in it's use, it also is high in sodium and sugar. A big canister of quick oats is much more useful and cooks nearly as quickly as microwave oatmeal without the bad for you additives. It's uses are only limited by your imagination; apple crisp topping, oatmeal cookies, baked oatmeal, breakfast oatmeal and so much more! Plus it's high on value at $2.70 for a large container. 
5. Plan ahead - Plan your menu around what is on sale for that particular week. Try to avoid paying full price for big ticket items such as meat. Also, making a menu and shopping list can save you money in more ways than one. Not only can you evade distractions from the things you don't need, you can also make sure you get everything for that week in one trip. Avoid making extra runs to the grocery store to pick up odds and ends; you will save time and gas money. Imagine you live thirty miles in the middle of nowhere and it will encourage you to get all your shopping done in one trip. ;)

While shopping, I really try to consider what I'm buying not only in terms of price but also in health costs as well. As much as is possible I try to avoid pre-packed food or frozen meals. These items are expensive and they often have high amounts of sodium and a plethora of ingredients listed on the back that I can't pronounce. Happy shopping!

The Revolutionary Homemaker,

Sara

The Family Dinner Under Fire

I recently read an article titled Let's stop idealizing the home-cooked family dinner by Amanda Marcotte. The author states that the 1950's dreamy delusion of a family dinner is an oppressive and draining burden placed upon women. That in addition to work life, home chores, demanding children, cost/time constraints, picky and ungrateful eaters the burdens of home cooking may very well out weight the benefits.  Marcotte even goes so far as to acknowledge that while home cooked meals are in general healthier than their restaurant counterparts, the stress it causes women may not be worth the fuss.

As a homemaker, I take great pride in the meals I prepare for my family. Mind you, not every meal I make is complex or gourmet. Sometimes we have a large salad for dinner or occasionally on Saturday's I'll make popcorn with a cheese, apple and carrot tray. Cooking for Andy and myself is important to me. The unsung hours spent in the kitchen planning and preparing each meal from scratch I suppose at times may seem like an unending and thankless job. But at dinner time, all the toil is worth it. To see Andy enjoying a healthy meal after a long days work, talking about our day and spending time around the dinner table is a priceless gift. The home-made family dinner is not an oppressive burden - it's an honor and a privilege that God would count me worthy to provide tasty, satisfying and healthy meals for my loved ones.

The Revolutionary Homemaker,
Sara

Thrifty Thursdays: Garbage Stew

Those of you who know me know I love to cook. You might even be able to say I inherited the love of cooking and feeding people. Growing up, I enjoyed the wonderful home cooking of my Mother and Grammy. I was awed by stories of how Great Grandma Weaver could whip up delicious and satisfying meals in less than half an hour for visitors who always seemed to show up around meal time. Needless to say, I have some big shoes to fill when it comes to cooking.

As a homemaker managing my own home, I have the privilege of planning and preparing all of our meals (though Andy helps out during the weekend). With the ever increasing cost of groceries now days, I am always looking for healthy, satisfying meals that can be made with out breaking the bank. I also need something that is going to make a decent amount of food. Not only do I need to feed the two of us for dinner, I also need at least enough leftovers to send with Andy for his lunch the next day. Stews and hotdishes have become some of my favorite standbys. Here is a recipe that Grammy helped me come up with this week when I was perplexed over what to make. I had a small amount of meat that needed some help to make it stretch. This satisfying stew was made using ingredients I had on hand that needed to be used up.

Garbage Stew
1/2 - 3/4 lb. cheap beef cut into small cubes
4 Cups beef broth
3 beets cubed
3 potatoes cubed
1 onion sliced
5 carrots sliced
1 cup chopped celery
2 bay leaves
2 tablespoons garlic powder (Do not use garlic salt as it will skyrocket sodium content)
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon parsley
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon basil

Dredge cut beef in 1 1/2 handfuls of flour seasoned with black pepper and garlic powder. Place in slow cooker with 2 cups beef broth. Cook on high for 90 minutes. Add remaining broth, ingredients and seasonings; cook on high for additional 4 hours or until tender. Mix 2 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch with cold water in cup until well blended. Add to slow cooker, thick gravy should form. If too thin, add additional cornstarch until desired thickness is achieved. Serve alone or with muffins or bread.

Note: Ingredients can be shifted to accommodate personal taste and preference. If more portions are needed, simply increase the vegetable content. Seasonings listed in this recipe are estimations of amounts I used (I didn't measure each out individually, just added them until it looked/tasted right). If you will be gone all day and want a fix and forget, simply put the beef on the bottom, and the vegetables on top. Set temperature to low.

Happy cooking!

The Revolutionary Homemaker,
Sara

Beginnings

My journey as a homemaker began just over two years ago when I married my wonderful and amazing best friend, Andy. Before I met my husband to be, I was pursing a degree in nursing and planned on making a career of it. While I did end up graduating from my program, I started to feel an ever persistent tug on my heart that I wanted to be a keeper at home. The desire of a professional career had begun to lose it's luster. Today, looking back on two years of marriage and following God's call for me to be a homemaker, I can truly say I've never felt more satisfied or fulfilled. It's like a glove with a perfect fit. This is where I am supposed to be.

This has been a journey for me. There have been ups and downs, mountains and valleys. Being a homemaker is a lifestyle choice, something that is not very popular with mainstream society. Often times, I feel as thought the traditional role of women is devalued in today's world. I've even placed this oppression on myself, believing that I was not worthy because I did not bring a paycheck into the home. I wasn't contributing; therefore I was undeserving. But this is a lie from the enemy. When I told my husband that I had been struggling with feelings of being undeserving because I don't contribute financially to our home, he gave me the most perplexed look. "I never told you that or placed that on you." he replied compassionately. "I know" I sobbed. I had devalued myself and what I do for our family of two. I had begun to measure myself against society's standards and not against the word of God. When you have a moment, please take time to read two Scriptures that have given me much encouragement as I follow God's calling to be keeper at home: Titus 2:3-5 and Proverbs 31.

The Revolutionary Homemaker,
Sara